..."when i walk beside her...i am the better man...when i look to leave her...i always stagger back again"...

... Someone took a quiz on some website and the wedding date that was predicted: April 05, 2011 ... i was reading online HBR and what a freaking coincidence! they predicted next financial crunch in 2011!! ... need i say more?

:) aaj ke liye itna hi! baki khabaren kal ke bulletin mein!

..."When you want something in life, you just gotta reach out and grab it"...

... i was going through this list of 'best movies of 2009' on google and then one thing led to another ... my torrent was loaded with loads of movies for the long weekend... from 2009, 2008 and then even from 2007... i guess the list was not that bad... in fact not bad at all...

...so when i 'forced' myself to watch 'In Bruges' and then 'America's Sweethearts' and then 'Intolerable Cruelty' and then 'The Graduate' and then of course 'Meet Joe Black'... made me wonder if it is really true that 'lightening can strike'...

...and then it did! ... i fired the windows media player after coming from office today and the movie was "into the wild" ... and boy oh boy! ... sean penn is ain't no duffer! :P ...i've become a fan of this movie! ... and now it is second best on my list of top movies for next few months at least! :) ...

... so here are the lyrics of top four songs of this movie... my personal choice of course! ...

---------------------------
Hard Sun:

when i walk beside her
i am the better man
when i look to leave her
i always stagger back again

once i built an ivory tower
so i could worship from above
when i climb down to be set free
she took me in again

(chorus)
there's a big
a big hard sun
beating on the big people
in the big hard world

when she comes to greet me
she is mercy at my feet
i see her inner charm
she just throws it back at me

once i dug an early grave
to find a better land
she just smiled and laughed at me
and took her rules back again

(chorus)

once i stood to lose her
and i saw what i had done
bowed down and threw away the hours
of her garden and her sun

so i tried to want her
i turned to see her weep
40 days and 40 nights
and its still coming down on me

(chorus)
---------------------------------------
Long Nights:

Have no fear
For when I'm alone
I'll be better off than I was before

I've got this light
I'll be around to grow
Who I was before
I cannot recall

Long nights allow me to feel...
I'm falling...I am falling
The lights go out
Let me feel
I'm falling
I am falling safely to the ground
Ah...

I'll take this soul that's inside me now
Like a brand new friend
I'll forever know

I've got this light
And the will to show
I will always be better than before

Long nights allow me to feel...
I'm falling...I am falling
The lights go out
Let me feel
I'm falling
I am falling safely to the ground

---------------------------------
Society:

Oh it's a mystery to me.
We have a greed, with which we have agreed...
and you think you have to want more than you need...
until you have it all, you won't be free.

Society, you're a crazy breed.
I hope you're not lonely, without me.

When you want more than you have, you think you need...
and when you think more then you want, your thoughts begin to bleed.
I think I need to find a bigger place...
cause when you have more than you think, you need more space.

Society, you're a crazy breed.
I hope you're not lonely, without me.
Society, crazy indeed...
I hope you're not lonely, without me.

There's those thinkin' more or less, less is more,
but if less is more, how you keepin' score?
It means for every point you make, your level drops.
Kinda like you're startin' from the top...
and you can't do that.

Society, you're a crazy breed.
I hope you're not lonely, without me.
Society, crazy indeed...
I hope you're not lonely, without me
Society, have mercy on me.
I hope you're not angry, if I disagree.
Society, crazy indeed.
I hope you're not lonely...
without me.
--------------------------
Guranteed:

On bended knee is no way to be free
lifting up an empty cup I ask silently
that all my destinations will accept the one that's me
so I can breath

Circles they grow and they swallow people whole
half their lives they say goodnight to wive's they'll never know
got a mind full of questions and a teacher in my soul
so it goes...

Don't come closer or I'll have to go
Holding me like gravity are places that pull
If ever there was someone to keep me at home
It would be you...

Everyone I come across in cages they bought
they think of me and my wandering
but I'm never what they thought
got my indignation but I'm pure in all my thoughts
I'm alive...

Wind in my hair, I feel part of everywhere
underneath my being is a road that disappeared
late at night I hear the trees
they're singing with the dead
overhead...

Leave it to me as I find a way to be
consider me a satelite for ever orbiting
I knew all the rules but the rules did not know me
guaranteed...

..."...Can't get you out of my mind; I can't lie; Cause a girl like you is so hard to find..."...

... as the monday morning dawned upon me, i felt numbness... in my feelings... i was blank... no thoughts... no emotions... i just laid there on my bed and then i realised it was the sound of the running tap that was the reason i was up so early in the first place... argh! i am no good at this thing... after the 'fix' i realized that i had kicked my lappy to hibernation... the movies were still on the downloading mode... so i brought it back to life and tried to catch more sleep... deja vu! ... it is monday right? ... and that means it is Dussera (or rather Dashera!) ... no wonder the entire colony was cleaning their vehicles and 'scrubbing' roads last nite...

... if u happen to be in this part of the country during the 'navratras' ... don't forget to join in for the 'dandiya' ... or watch 'garba'... and of course on the day of dussera u have to make sure u have the cleanest house, car, scooter, bike, office, table, shoes ... ur arse? well... u get the point... right? ... so with one tandoori naan pizza and hot cuppa tea and one movie later... it was 'Crash'... i guess it's time to do some outing... i guess i must visit my other room...

what i liked about this weekend :
it was for two fu##ing days!!!.... it was for two fu##ing days!!! can u believe that???
okay now the real reasons:
1) i am all setup with my wireless router from Linksys... and i am loving it!
2) it was Meetu d's wedding anniversary
3) Nannu's landlord's daughter returned to Indian Cannes (hmm! and u thought i will change?)
4) item no 1 happened! ... am i cheating?
5) item no 2 made my day! ... i guess i am cheating...
6) all the above listed things happened! ... this is definitely cheating... okies so i will stop here...

and while you enjoy these lyrics of Summer Jam:

This ain't nothing but a summer jam
Brown skin and cinnamon tans woah
This ain't nothing but a summer jam
We're gonna party as much as we can

Tonight hotties wearing Prada skirts
Real tight temperature is rising
Feelin' real hot in the heat of the night
Midnight the party won't stop
until the moonlight
I'm skopin' out the hotties with the light eyes
Be with me tonight

Can't get you out of my mind
I can't lie
Cause a girl like you is so hard to find
I'm waiting for the day to make you mine
Cause I can't take it

This ain't nothing but a summer jam
Brown skin and cinnamon tans, whoa
This ain't nothing but a summer jam
We're gonna party as much as we can

Moonlight cruisin' down the boulevard
Strobe lights watching you your body's tight
Alright looking kinda freaky to me
Can't get you out of my mind
I can't lie
Cause a girl like you is so hard to find
I'm waiting for the day to make you mine
Cause I can't take it

This ain't nothing but a summer jam
Brown skin and cinnamon tans, whoa
This ain't nothing but a summer jam
We're gonna party as much as we can

This ain't nothing but a summer jam
Brown skin and cinnamon tans, whoa
This ain't nothing but a summer jam
We're gonna party as much as we can

This ain't nothing but a summer jam
Brown skin and cinnamon tans, whoa
This ain't nothing but a summer jam
We're gonna party as much as we can

i have a countdown to keep... 16 days for the touchdown...

..."Happy wedding anniversary Nikki Zee"...

... i got the timing right for this weekend... i mean... i lined up some good movies through torrent... and then after the tiring Panchagani trip... i was able to make myself sit in front of the lappy for this movie... "Meet Joe Black" ... and i can't believe that i was so blank about this movie... all i remembered was the last sequence ... i guess wen i watched this movie for the first time i was not mature enough for the concept and the medium it was delivered through...in all... it was quite a movie... emotionally engaging and yet humorous at times... so beautifully crafted and well performed by actors...

... it was 3 am wen the movie ended and i was in some trance... may be it was the toll of the journey... or the emotional outbursts during the movie... i was feeling very very tired... so decided to call it nite... morning actually... and funny thing is that during a brief 'break' @ around 7 am i recall having a dream about my wireless router not being delivered yet! ... i thought of calling the internet company and give them an earful... tried to catch more sleep ... and then i heard loud banging on the front door... usually it means that i left my tap open or perhaps RPR or his brother was there to fix the recurring 'water storage issue' ... i opened the door... groaning... and this guy was standing with a large packet and some boxes inside...

Guy @ Door: "AY?"
me: "yep"
G@D:"Linksys router..."
me:"come in... install..."
G@D:"sir i am only the delivery guy"
me:"argh!"
...

and then i decided to make the breakfast and some tea of course ... and soon Bhavesh came for the 'water issue' ... so predictable na? ... while he was wandering here and there ... i recalled it was Meetu d's wedding anniversary... i had this gut feeling that it's today... so i sent an SMS... and she called back! :) ... then i spent some time trying to install that wireless router... and it was getting on my nerves and i realised that because of this my conversation with dad and sis was not getting good either so i chucked the plan to install it then and watched another movie... and i am glad that i did ... it was "america's sweethearts" ... not only i was able to install the router successfully i was also able to 'connect with a piece of my past' ...

so by the time it was getting nite... i was feeling more and more content... that the day was well spent and btw! it's dussera tomorrow... and i pray to the beloved divine mother of heaven that all the vices that have made my mind and soul and body as their servant be perished and my mind and soul and body be free of all the evils and shall remain so...

amen

..."I am being tempted by the circumstances"...

... it was unethical if not entirely unprofessional... i am not so very happy about the whole scenario... although Mr. B behaved as a true gentleman... i am ashamed! ... i could have dealt differently and i should have! ... i shall be more careful in my dealings with 'Mady'...

...my first impression was that this 'Pasarni Ghat' would be near enough to 'go-there-do-the-test-come-before-tea-time' ... and thanks to Mady ... we started 'late' and then i realized that it's damn one hundred kilometers... and with our vehicle loaded with close to 2 Tons of sand in black gloomy cans... it was going to be a looong looong ride! ... oops! i forgot to add the faulty fuel gauge and the faulty speedo and the sticky clutch pedal... and yeah! the horn was erratic... and what about the funny squeaking sound from the 'out side' of the vehicle?? well... ignore it! ... hmmm... good! and we are going to the torque loosing test by applying brakes at 40-60 Kmph on a downhill journey on a Saturday evening ... considering that the uphill way is for Mahabaleshwar... this is getting interesting... isn't it?

... and now apply the Murphy's Law... Mady was NOT carrying the torque wrench... WTF???? why???? 'cause people from KLL have indicated that they will be bringing in their 'digital' one! ... and the story abhi baaki hai mere dost! ... the 'adaptor' that KLL people were bringing in cracked... so it was useless... oh! yes! it is of chrome-vanadium alloy... still it cracked! ... and the Digital instrument went haywire! ... yeah! see Mr. Murphy smiling! ... and then with the blessings of holy mother we came to know about the other test linedup at the same place ... and the guy on that vehicle was fully equipped ... and i like that kind of people! ...

finally it all ended well... sort of...

and why i am tempted? well... i can only blink now! :)

Happiness is: -
1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake ... (or vanilla ... or strawberry!)
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach
16. Finding a 50 bucks note in your jeans.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
19. Running through sprinklers.
20. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
21. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful/good looking.
22. Laughing at an inside joke.
23. Friends.
24. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
25. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
26. Your first kiss.
27. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
28. Playing with a new puppy.
39. Having someone play with your hair.
30. Sweet dreams.
31. Hot chocolate.
32. Road trips with friends.
33. Swinging on swings.
34. Making chocolate chip cookies (and eating them...!).
35. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
36. Holding hands with someone you care about.
37. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
38. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much-desired present from you.
39. Watching the sunrise.
40. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
41. Knowing that somebody misses you.
42. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
43. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

I AM HAPPY, I REALLY AM :)
AND YOU ARE THE REASON WHY.

..."We need smart, intelligent, innovative, energetic people. anyone in the room with these qualities?"...

... the word leadership will create more or less a similar mental picture to most of the educated gentry of my generation... or any generation for that matter... and it is addictive... the quality i mean... a good leader can do a lot more than just lead a bunch of people... She can provide comfort... she can be the friend you can always talk to... or the sounding board you never had... she can represent every that quality you don't have and you aspire for... and yet the school teacher who will make you stand outside the class if you were late from your 'games period' ... and will call you back when she realises that the principal is on the round... a leader is the one whom you might forget after a while and yet will recall with a smile on ur face and the context that made this whole thing memorable... making others curious...

... why is that it is so difficult to be nice and generous and inspiring to other people... you have more reasons to be like that if u are surrounded by people who care for you and you care for them... and there are still more reasons to behave like that when you are surrounded by strangers... why be rude when you know you might never see or meet or talk to this person ever again? ... why is that the basic instinct of humans is not to respond with anger or rage every time they see a stranger ... like dogs? or cats? or i dunno... monkeys? ... there has to be some reason that we have inherited some genes that make us the humans so prone to humility by that smile the look or that body language that shouts "i won't harm you, come to me and give me a hug" ...

... it was quite fun attending the meeting of 'Mr. Ambardekar' ... at least for the first few minutes... and when the firing started... well.. everyone was running for the cover... actually the meeting started without him and the man behind the 90mm was 'Mr. Krishna' ... and just when the dust settled and everyone was licking wounds and hoping for the meeting to get over so that they can enjoy the lunch on this beautiful friday afternoon... Mr. Ambardekar made a dash in that conference room... and those 20 minutes cannot be captured in this frame... u have to be there ... right there... to understand... to start aspiring again... to start dreaming again...

maybe i told you right from the start
you can have me
but you can't have my heart
it's easy enough to say but i couldn't care less
ya i mighta told you you were on my mind
guess i talked a pretty good line
but hey i can talk all day
but i just can't confess

that i'm a liar
i'm a victim of desire
i'm a moth into the fire
i'm over my head - forget what i said
tell ya i'm a liar
i'm just walking on the wire
i couldn't get much higher
i'm over my head - forget what i said
baby i'm a liar

when i told you i was hard to pin down
ya know i was just messin around
guess you know by now that's just my way
and if you want some stories - well i got a few
but hey - this is the truth i swear to you
how many more times do you want me to say...

if i told ya to go away
baby you can't believe a thing i say
listen....

.... .- .--. .--. -.-- | -... .. .-. - .... -.. .- -.-- | -- . . - ..- | -.. .. -.. ..

... and that is all that matters today! ... and of course... that i am still wondering "the two relevant ones" ... can u plz help?

".. | .-- .- ... | ... .. -. -.-. . .-. . | .- -. -.. | ... .... . | .-- .- ... | ... --- .-. .-. -.-- "

... at least it works for the title! the Morse code i mean... the original plan for today was pretty straight forward... after waking up ... and after morning routine chores i will go to office... Spicy being on leave will not be there... i will do my KPI related follow-up and then in the evening, Naresh and I will visit the showroom and it was going just the way it was planned till Naresh came to pick me up from office sans his laptop...
AY: "wherez ur laptop?"
NK: "i will give it after Dussera."
AY: "so watz the plan now?"
NK: "we will go to ur room, just like that!"
AY: "okies!" (argh!!!)

and then three hours, two hot cuppa tea and snacks and 5GB of data transfer later he was off to his room and me in front of this lappy writing this post! :) ... once in a while it feels great ...

although the fact that i am still not able to loosen my purse strings for the things i have craving for... is killing me... the thing is that i am so eagerly waiting for my diwali vacation that i just don't feel like doing anything or going for shopping... so here i am sitting in my room... watching movies and more movies and listening music that i have been listening from around a year... basically i am on some kinda 'auto pilot' ... and it's big day tomorrow... should i try some trick? or just a plain 'wish'??

..."I can't recall their faces"..."You have to think of some context" ..."What does that mean?"...

... i was watching this movie ... "Saving Private Ryan"... and i got hooked into it so much that i just forgot to post today's very important although uneventful meeting with VK! ... i guess i will be posting more details as the days progress by... thanks to Amit for rekindling the flame for this one! ...

on a second thought ... it is never too late for a blog post! ... first thing first ....
"You see, I tell You; Ultimately it helps in Growth..." ... nice Rabbi! very nice! I know I have to attend the meeting that You were supposed to attend... and although i am a bit concerned ... i am not chicken... after NKS helped in some morale uplifting... and i recalled wat my stars told me to do... in the end ... the meeting was a farce! ... i thought i would need my trousers without the belts... and it wasn't THAT bad... and then came the stinger... "Mr. VK couldn't come, so He chaired that meeting"

WTF!!! you mean He wasn't VK???? ..."Nope"... Holy crapola! ... no wonder everyone was having fun at the meeting ... "btw don't forget the followup meeting on Friday. with VK of course" ... nice! now i can go home with sun shining on me! ... oops! wat sun?? it's raining ... ah! man! am i asking too much???

"i don't want u to be a looser."

..."i stayed at ur place when i came earlier..n i came only once" ...

... friends! ... i am so happy i have less and yet so valuable ones ... and boy-oh-boy! ... i am having some fun at this blog... kahin meri hi nazar na lag jaaye! ... although it was a gloomy monday ... afternoon meeting with Rabbi wasn't that good ... trust me! ... he is now giving such silly feedback that it is like telling me what i already know! ... i need more than that! ... i need more!! ... argh!!! WTF!!! cummon hit me! hit me! ... okay! so now i know wat i need.... lemme grab something to eat!... i am starving... i will continue afterwards...

okies!... with my tummy filled and Chris jamming in the background... my original plan earlier today was to write for next two days... coz my lappy will be in for the servicing and i can't afford to lose the momentum ... but then it is immaterial u c... and then ofcourse 'man proposes and god disposes' ... so first of all RPR's Bhau was here and after the courtesy tea and one thunderstorm later i realised that Pooh was online and then i saw AC and Ankush... so spent some time chatting around... and wen Kapil came around he had his usual query and 'favour' to ask... now i can't deny a friend a favour... can i? ...

and then this 'Johari' and 'Nohari' thing hooked me! ... whom to blame? i dunno! ... and the first results are out: friendly, extroverted, witty, sensible, clever, cynical, distant, passive, simple, self-satisfied, stupid ... i am still listening...

..."It's a Beautiful Sunday Morning... What are you going to do today?"...

... it's been so long... waking up in the morning and feeling fresh and happy with a smile cracking up on the edges of my lips... what was it? ... i knew it was sunday... nothing new... in fact i always felt happy after a while on a sunday... was it because i woke up with no alarm ringing? or was it that it was still quite in the neighbourhood? or was it because there were no mosquitoes bugging me in the nite? (oops!) ... for some reason i just laid there and felt that the silence was inspiring.. inspiring?... i was feeling liberated... from what? ... i dunno... i just felt happy... so i jumped from bed... made some tea and the usual toasts to start the beautiful sunny quite Sunday morning... i guess the only thing i was missing was my newspaper ... my all time favourite is HT Delhi edition...

... while a lot has happened in the past week and i am at leisure to write all about it... and yet i feel like that is not important now... at least not today... so i will try to focus on what can be achieved in the next week ... because it is going to be some fun i guess... why is that i always feel so optimistic at the beginning of the week?? ... neways ...

my Project targets have been fixed ... more or less... and while they may seems dull and in fact they are ... it just struck me at this moment how it is going to fit in the big picture of my personal targets for professional life... so i guess this gives me one more reason to be happy today! ... wow! ... the music on my lappy is getting better and the FB profile is getting snazzier day by day ... i guess i have to wait till i surpass the O's friends' list and then i can leave it in 'status quo' for it's historical value... is that a sinister plan? nah! i guess i will become a sleeper profile person... only active in the FB and perhaps on this blog ...

..."Happy Birthday Atithi!" ...

... the festive season of Navratri begins from today... and for the next nine days... most of the Hindus will be performing puja for the Almighty Goddess with ... i guess 108 names and nine avatars ... don't call me if the information provided above is inaccurate...

and of course it's Atithi's Birthday... and this future HR manager has gone to her 'Native' ... and my KPI's are finally set ... and i guess it is going to be alot more pain in my arse than i had originally thought of... but then with the kind of prediction my stars are making... i must say it's time to buckle up... but wait... that's wat they predicted some time back... hmmm ...

and as for my day today ... i guess the best the thing i can think of ... wait... i *should* think of ... is the 'toast' that was raised in this movie... "To the Jobs That Pay the Rent" ... and since i am already into the 'Saturday Nite' mood... i will sign off.. now... :)

..."Welcome to Hayes-Lemmerz Plant"...

... after a long long time i was on an official visit to a vendor's manufacturing plant ... well ... actually... it was my first time in that capacity... all earlier were either a part of the college curriculum or were courtesy visits thanks to the generation of the engineers... so how was it? good of-course! ... my boss decided to attend some other meeting and decided not to join in ... so there i was with this glib talker and we were all set to go...

the courtesy extended by the staff was good and their new set-up was also excellent... and obviously being for the first time i was excited at being this close to the wheel rim manufacturing 'state-of-the-art' gizmos... in all a good experience ...

and is this the reason i am so happy today? ... may be yes... may be yes! :) ... i watched 'New York' yesterday nite ... it was a Thursday and so u know we were 'powerless' ... and then one small trip to the nearby market... and a short chat with the neighbours later i was all set to kill some time ... kill some quality time that is! ... so with most of the energy draining devices removed and my thinkpad running on least # of 'services', i was able to squeeze about 3.5 hrs of battery time and watched the movie ... however what touched my feelings the most was this song just after the 'bollywood classic moment of movies' ... and i cudn't resist myself from downloading the entire album! ...

and it's Billi's birthday tomorrow! :) ... and of-course i am happy tonite!

..."Can You Leave Me Alone?" ...

... and i guess i did...

..."Analysing a Relationship is like Dissecting a Frog...Not Many People Like it and the Frog Dies Of It" ...

... it is getting difficult waking up in the mornings... and that is even when i am NOT chatting late in the nights! ... so what is it? ... it's the last week's nite shifts' effect! ... argh! so 'for this week i must return to the classics' ...

and ... lemme try an attempt to 'follow' mr. brown ... not in his field of topics... but still... all that i have to do is Search some topic for the discussion And then do soMe research on it... do some more research ...after all i have loads of free time! ... someone made a taunting remark like this ... becoming totally a Vichitra person in the later part of the 'rElationship' ... and i must aDmit that the slaNgs were coming at an alarming rAte ... somewhere later in the conversations the image of 'Holy Mother of Lord Jesus' was fading and giving way to a back-stabbing manipulative crafty personality... that every red blooded male should be beware of!

and i am so tired of that 'emotional drama' I got sucked into... "but it's over now" in Jan... "everything is rite now" in Mar... "i am tired of it" in May... "i want to get out of this" in Aug ... to finally: @%@^%@$%@$% .... it's not even worth mentioning here!

..."Are you a bad loser?" ...

... while the answer is firm 'NO' ... i must take this day as a 'cool off' period ... just in case! ...

..."There is alot of potential" ... "What is in for me?" ... "Atleast a recommendation for promotion" ...

... what is it that makes us strive so hard to get that 'dream job'? ... why do we race to finish the school and then college? so that we can have a 'dream job'?... why do we aspire for 'higher education'? ... so that we can have a 'higher paying job'? or the one with more power? responsibilities? bigger office? or better one? ... what exactly is a 'dream job'? ... why do we want a job?? ... if you think i am going to answer any of those questions, you are absolutely bonkers! err... in other words you are wrong! am I your shrink or what? ... it's not that i don't enjoy silly discussions once in a while... it' just that it takes two to tango!


and from tango i recall today's meeting with Rabbi and Spicy... Rabbi started with the usual 'to-do' list for me (who else?) ... and once done with me, he turned to Spicy and as usual, Spicy was worried about his KPI's and so Rabbi showed him mine and asked to copy that! WTF!! ... however... this time i was determined... to really talk about the KPI's and unlike the last two years... wen it was an eyewash... irrespective of what you are being told to do or what u do, u get what ur reporting manager wants to give u! ... doesn't sound that bad? well ... don't switch from job! ... in the end ... it was good conversation... now i know what i should be working on and that i still don't have a sure shot chance for that promotion! ... now that sounds like fun! :)

btw i was chatting with this future HR manager while typing the para above... and it seems to me that what i was writing about yesterday...

...hell! it went haywire...

..."Young lovers seek perfection. Old lovers learn the art of sewing shreds together and of seeing beauty in a multiplicity of patches" ...

... sometimes it just happens that u get so much 'sucked' into one thing or thought or feeling or person or belief or idea ... that even if you can feel 'it' draining your entire emotional and physical and 'spiritual' and whatever energy you have ... you just cannot bring your senses out of it... and you tend to start accepting this 'energy sucking' and the 'emotional pain' and to some extent the 'depressing' mental state as some sort of 'cleansing' ... and that after going through all this, you will be able to see and appreciate some 'bigger picture' and that it will make you brave and more immune to these upheavals in the future... guess what? there is only 50-50 chance for that! so get up and keep walking.

so what happened on saturday? i was supposed to talk to Rabbi (and i have deliberately dropped the 't') about the KPIs and how they are going to shape-up my career... at least for the next year ... but as usual he was in some meeting since 3 till 5 and then of course he went zipped past for Mumbai! ... i guess it is going to be an exciting Monday!

and while it may not seems so, it's almost 2 hour time gap between the this paragraph and the one above... why? because i started doing what i should have done well before starting this post! the Sunday chores! :( ... and it's not all that bad actually... i also spent some time on this blog that i stumbled across and have started following and then of course the blog of marine engineer sahib i am following and then i had some 'get-together' mails to be sent to relevant people... then of course the Orkut! ... i am still not able to detach myself from Orkut completely... there could only be one reason for that ... and you really expect me to write it here? do u?

btw i just created my new account with this photo sharing site and i guess i am loving this 'new zeal' of sharing myself with the 'civilized world' ... i mean... i never got 'hurt' by keeping myself to my trusted friends... but that's not the way of enjoying life? ... and then i see people who have been sharing their life with complete strangers since ... i don't know ....i was a kid on internet... ofcourse u have to take some basic 'precautions' and that's it! ...

and now it's getting late and i guess with so much to write and only 10 fingers and one keyboard... it's too heck of a 'dangal' here ... so i guess i must be off the hook now...

...There is Something I just Can't Explain... and You Can't Understand...

... it was like any other day... until i woke up!... and something was not right ... something was missing... i couldn't figure out... so i crawled out of my bed and dragged myself to my lappy... it was still working on the download it was supposed to work on... and there were no new messages in any of my inbox the since last time i checked ... at around 3 in the morning... so what was it??? ... my phone was still on... battery was okay... it was bright sunshine... and it was quite early though ... may be 10 o'clock... and yet i was not feeling alright! ... something was wrong! ... and it didn't took me long to figure out ... there was no water in the apartment!!!!

damn! i felt like shouting at the new tenants upstairs! but then i calmly called my landlord and 'appraised him about the situation' .. the only immediate solution was to 'ask the neighbours' ... it was so pathetic! ... and it set the tone of the day! ... to some extent at least!

there is a famous saying "curiosity killed the cat" ... and something similar happened to me (no i wasn't killed, u silly!) ... i went to rabbit's cabin ... eager to ask him about the KPIs or the PMS or the MPAs or watever fancy name u want to give it to the 'appraisal targets for the next year' ... and boy-oh-boy i was (i still am actually) disappointed! ... infact i was so disheartened that i spend rest one hour trying to console myself! :'( ...it is going to be fun tomorrow .. wait! today! it's already 0130 in morning! ... this second shift is killing 'Vikki the paler our very own 'launda from Hoshiaarrrpur' ...

and now that i just glanced over the clock ... i am feeling kinda... wat's the word ... sleepy? nah! drowsy?? ... dunno! ...

...Happy Birthday Dad! ...

Scene: me sleeping and phone ringing. very early in the morning... around 0900 hrs.
KA: "bhai! tu so raha tha?"
AY: "thujhe maalum hai na main B shift mein hoon?"
KA: "papa ka birthday hai! wish kardiyo! bas yahi bolna tha... aur malum hai kal se yahan baarish ho rahi hai! mujhe bus bhi nahi mil rahi hospital ke liye!"
AY: " hmmm.... okay..."
KA: "okay bye!"

and i dozed off again! ... woke up again at sometime around 1030... cudn't recall why my head was spinning! ... i remember going to bed at around 0300 ... i was blogging na! ... and i realised i was talking to someone... was i dreaming? ... nah! .... coming back to senses ... called dad ASAP and of course he was a little surprised :) ... maybe wasn't expecting my call this "early" ... and after the customary wishes ...i was on the track again!... so much was on the platter today!

... now usually Thursdays are 'power off' days ... this might be the richest municipality in the entire damn country... but they still can't provide power for entire seven days of the week! ... only solace was normal rains in this part of the area... to keep the 'light' 'running' today!... so a lot was accomplished ...

i dunno y but it occurred to me that there might be some confusion to you as what i am blogging may not be matching with the dates of the blog posts... and just for your information... these posts are published in the intervening-nights of two dates ... and so what u are reading as September 11 blog entry ... was actually written at around 0030-0100 hrs ... more like a 'late-nite-edition' rather than 'early-morning-edition' ... and OMG!! it's already 9/11 ... hmmm...

...that reminds me of the morning news i woke up to when the shocking news of terrorists hitting the WTC was beamed across the TV channels... the videos were played over and over again... i was in absolute disbelief! ... this was the mother of all... slap on the face of BigBrother! ... hmmm... not nice!

and my monu bhai... hum ghar aa rahe hain diwali pe! ... hope to meet u this time ... tumhaari shaadi pe to bahut killat ho jaaegi! ... agar ho sake to plz bhabhi ji se pehle milwa dena... special meeting request ... :P ...

... I am One of the 4000 Points of Light ... I am Proud of Myself! ...

... and of course i am happy that i achieved this feat on 09/09/09 ... it wud have gone the regular way ... tomorrow ... tomorrow and may be tomorrow ... but then something struck ... i realized the amazing power of self motivation... i told myself that it is 9th day of the 9th month of year 2009... and just imagine the how it wud feel to get the Brand Ambassador Certificate on 09.09.09... and that was it! i took the pre-assessment again just to make sure and then took the course again ... this time to make the notes on my weak areas ... i was expecting the final assessment to be like the one for the TCoC... deliberately confusing and with loads of ethical dilemmas... and guess what? ... it was a piece of cake! ... and i love cakes btw! ... i have been thinking of giving this assessment since past 9 days ... trust me it's not a coincidence! ... and i never planned to give it on 9.9.9 ...

...it just happened that there i am... on 09/09/09... happy today that my Business partner is now on my professional connection list and then happy that i had a chat with her about the all important KPI's for the next year... and of course happy that i test drove Tata Nano yesterday AND Sumo Grande today (two actually!) ... and it's always fun to drive vehicles that you are working on... and at the end of the 9th day of the 9th month of 2009 ... err... beginning actually... me being in second shift remember? ... i am going thru the day's tasks and the screen reminder pops up about this assessment... so i did what i should have done today... and now i am happy again! :) and of course 9.9.9 is still to end all the way!

and then we happened to visit to Bay-zero after the dinner and one of the vehicle that was being prepped up was the Project [name confidential] ... and boy-oh-boy! ... my pre-conceived notions about the ugly and bulky rear was shattered!! ... what an absolute beauty she is! and the dash is uber... the dials fit in the scheme perfectly ... and it's the color that catches ur attention... if someone removes the badge from the vehicle ... u will have hard time guessing the name of the manufacturer!! ... unless u are a curious observer of the automobiles ... and i was impressed with the fit and finish of the product ... spent some time inside the vehicle ... leg room is sufficient ... the boot space is enormous... i only wish it was in market... but hey! ... by the time it will be in market ...i will be shopping around as well! :) now that's called timing! ...
so now to finish this blog entry that i started on 09/09/09 ... lemme think of 9 good things that happened to me on 09/09/09 :)

1) i woke up @ 12 in the afternoon and it was a refreshing sleep.
2) i was able to sit in front of my thinkpad till i was really late and still reached office in time.
3) i cud still grab one vada-pav as my brunch and tea.
4) i discussed about how to set my KPI's for next year with my HR business partner.
5) i enjoyed the vada-sambar with tea in evening snacks.
6) i got to drive fully laden Sumo Grande.
7) i got to drive fully laden Sumo Grande again. trust me! (do u think this is cheating?)
8) i was already happy that points 6 and 7 happened! (this may be cheating! :P )
9) i finished the Brand Ambassador Assessment with 100% marks!!!!

i can go-on and on about the good things that happened to me today... but then it's already 10th September! darn! and hey! i was thinking about my blog inspiration and guess what? ... ;)

late inputs: chk out this link and then this one as well ... Vikz u rock! :) and i am wondering who the heck is Monu?...

...My First Test Drive of Tata Nano yesterday! ...

VB: "where are u?"
AY: "coming down from stairs to canteen. why?"
VB: "u wanted a test drive of Nano. u still interested?"
AY: "of course i am!! where? when?"
VB: "wait outside Bay-5 after evening snacks"
AY: "sure!! yippie!!"

... and tht's how it went... after half an hour i was at the the driving seat of Tata Nano... it was of Silver color... same color that my father has chosen for his LX... and since it was a test vehicle it wasn't at the best of her appearance ... does it matter?? ... so we went for the poor cousin of our test track... VB had to conduct some tests and i helped along! ... and then of course a loooong round of the company premises.... now for some reasons ... anyone driving a Nano in our company premises is looked up with jealousy ... i dunno why? ;) ... so u know what i am trying to say! ... it was fun to drive... the car is drivable at reasonable city speed limit and remain in 3rd gear all the time! ... i never felt the need to change the gear! ... good for Delhi's traffic! ... boot space is of no worry... for the type of shopping an average family does ... even during festivals... it's sufficient... in all 8.5/10 ...

as for the assessment of our "4000 points of light" ... i have read the entire course material 4 times and still i get stuck in one question! ... and the embarrassing thing is that it is the same question!! ... i must start the habit of making notes! ... such a long time ...i have done any "study" and stuff... now it's like pain in arse! :) ... still i believe i will be able to complete it! successfully!!!! :) ...

and i am still not sure about if "suraj-mukhi" busy or lost in " His Majesty's " dreams or is plainly upset... but with the kind of prediction my stars are making ... it's me who is in bad times and they want me to do some "autumn cleaning" ... so i guess my less interaction (interference?) ... is doing some sort of cleaning ... or whatever it means! ... oh! btw if u happen to stumble across this blog thru my orkut profile ... then either u r clever or already in my gtalk list! ... so enjoy! and keep visiting! ...

... "I am the Travel Girl... I travel Around the World... The only friend I have is the one that picks me next" ...

...i ended up searching some very cool advanced car driving videos on the youtube yesterday ... and then i ended up with this video where the background score was a pacy 'dance-party' song with loads of high pitch 'trance' music... the video quality was poor and actually it was a 'collection' of several videos already available on the youtube... what immediately caught my attention was the background score... i immediately googled the lyrics and bingo! there it was... and u can get it here... i hope u like it... a word of caution though... the lyrics contain one F word... u have been warned...

... this week started with bio-clock-wrecker-second-shift, this was fun earlier when i was very much into the pro-E and virtual mechanism building and analysis, the work was never appreciated and so i lost interest ... the result? i ended up with more regular shift work of interacting with loads of other departments that make up our ERC... however now facing the manpower crunch and space crunch and system crunch and crunch[:)] ... and with only two people responsible for the vehicle integration of the legendary vehicle from the stables of Tata Motors... it's getting a weary!...

...so to keep my mind off the boring office life and almost non-existent social life... i do wat i feel like doing ... i blog! (sheh! innovative eh?) ... and sometimes i dance ... okies ... ignore that coz i do that with all the doors and windows closed and preferably at nite! with lights off!!!... so that no one can see! ... 'hidden talent' as i call it ... and then of-course i am just waiting for the spark ... similar to the last time wen i ended up with about 5K worth of shopping within 15minutes! ... it was worth it ... and now i NEED to do it! ... but with my diwali vacation plans i just don't feel like doing anything!! ... except something like this...

... How come i never thought of this before? ...

...the dots and dashes i mean!... i know u r clueless and it wud, of course, be my pleasure to elaborate... however before i do that ... lemme remind myself what i am going to write today? ... thinking of blogging? it is harder than it sounds but then u knew wat u were signing in for... no? oops! one of the best compliment i ever received about my blog was "i like ur blog because u don't try too hard to write" ... and of course it was from Pooz ... and then the 360 was pulled down! that was the oldest blog i ever maintained and it was getting snazzier by the day ... especially since January 10, 2009 ...

now the best thing about so many blog websites is that we the bloggers get so many options to pour out our heart! and thanks to the spread in Internet access across country and awareness among the gentry is helping generating this much chatter on the sites that u can vent out all and still remain inconspicuous in this vast amount of data and information... however... u must be careful in not disclosing the identity of people and their location ... just in case u get stumbled by a stalker! ... and that reminds me of the dots and dashes ... so here is wat i mean ...

- .... .. ... .. ... .--- ..- ... - .- - . .- ... . .-. --- ..-. .-- .... .- - .. -- .. --. .... - -... . -.. --- .. -. --. .. -. - .... . ..-. ..- - ..- .-. . .--. --- ... - ... .- -. -.. .... --- .--. . ..-. ..- .-.. .-.. -.-- -- --- .-. . --- ..-. - . -. .- -. -.. .-- .. - .... -- --- .-. . .-. .- --.. --.. -- .- - .- --.. --.. .-.. . - ... -.-. .. ..-. .. -.-. .- -. -.- . . .--. - .... . -- --- -- . -. - ..- -- - .... . --- -. .-.. -.-- .--. .-. --- -... .-.. . -- .. ... - .... .- - .. -.. ..- -. -. --- .. ..-. - .... . .--. ..- -. -.-. - ..- .- - .. --- -. .-- .. .-.. .-.. .-- --- .-. -.-


and boy oh boy! i need a WYSIWYG!!! this took me more than time than i thought i wud... y? coz this stupid html editor wud ignore the 'pipe' operator and with the converter all the 'spaces' were ignored ... and i had to manually add it so that if any curious person uses this sleek converter (s)he must not have to bang his/her head on a wall! but still it's not working! this was a momentary fun then and if i can get a workaround this bug... my posts are going to be a lot more worth reading! ...

"A Commitment maybe based on Emotions..But the Strategy and Excution is Pure Cold Logic"

... my daily routine, thanks to the recent pandemic in the city, has turned into that of a lazy boring snail... now i don't hold any grudges against snails... they are lovely creatures... and i am trying hard not to laugh! ... and apart form the lazy routine that i have been forced into, i guess i am on the path of losing a good friend... (after snapping ties with her on FB and Orkut) ... now one huge problem with my PR with people who don't know me is that they tend to think/believe that i intrude into their space pretty fast... hmmm.... wudn't it be nice if they cud simply say that... i guess it's tough to be that rude on someone's face... but then why cringe later and do the back stabbing?? ... neways...

i must put down few dates here... June 23, 2006 ... i shld be able to recall what happened then... it's not important but still :) ... and i guess another date wud be January 10, 2009... third shld be August 31, 2009 ... and let's hope i find some more interesting 'dates to remember' ... ummm... January 06 (year is not important u c!) ... now tht's enough for today... i am already bored! waaaaaaaaaaat a boring Sunday! :)

... How come i never thought of 'Due Diligence' ...

"a little sick and a little tired;bit worn out with a want to be desired; u give me joy and take my senses on high; i only wish i could understand why?"

... i am wondering "what happened?" ... i mean ... the plan was more or less cast... and the preparations were on track as well... and then ... as they say... " vinaash kaale vipreet buddhi"... first distraction was the halfhearted attempt... i know it sounds silly... but still... second distraction was the complacency... of the job and life... in general ... so wen the 'grand re-structuring plan' was 'shelved' somewhere in May-June ... i guess i was not the only person who was upset but i was definitely *the* person whoz career plan got screwed!! ... and in a big way... and guess wat?? ... it's coming again... the 're-structuring' plan i mean... and i heard about in very hushed tones...

as for the personal life... it was great wen i started this entry... and now is on the low side! ... acting as a mediator between your siblings and your parents can be very energy draining ... emotionally at-least ... i always wondered about the term 'generation gap' wen i first heard it sometime in 90's ... i thought... how can it be that children and parents can start to think so differently?? .. neways...

have alot to write! :) ... will keep posting!

4000 points of light. and i am one of it.

it was the countdown timer that caught my attention on our company's intranet homepage today... the brand ambassador assessment was to be completed and with all my enthusiasm, that I have been trying to build over the last week to complete this assessment, I decided to take the plunge finally… after all it was Thursday and that means weekly off for the production plant and ERC can have sigh of relief … so there I was… in front of my flat screen LCD, starry eyed and staring at the my-i-get-it learning tool with our brand ambassador learning kit page… I was trying hard to capture some relevant information (knowledge?) … and score at-least the mandatory 80% and get the “Brand Ambassador” certificate… fully aware that as for the practical purpose it makes no real impact or gives any benefit… I have three certificates from previous “Trainings” and “Assessments” … and all that you get is “Hearty Satisfaction” that you have done something that your company “Management” requested you to do… I know that I am being cynical here and a bit sarcastic as well … but then with my experience I have good reason to be that…as for the assessment my first attempt score was respectable and then like other things in my life I “lost interest” … so I decided to spend some time with my other projects in hand…

Many a times I feel blessed that I have reasonably good people to keep company with… not only in office but also outside it… the only pain I have been experiencing is that I am really missing my family… and it’s not the usual bout of homesickness … but the genuine overwhelming desire to go back to ‘em and spend time there … people whom you have met and spent time in the past are perhaps the best who can understand and care and love you for who you are and with no expectations it is a lot easier to perform …perhaps even outperform your own preconceived notions of limits on things that are important for the practical purposes… and if I am sounding pessimistic… it’s because I am… I guess… at this moment…

I do not know if I should be blogging what I want to, without bothering about how people might find it (with the “ethics” taken care of course) … or should try to be a “nice and neutral blogger” … where people can come and post “nice” comments … I guess I am confused as well … and with no “Tao of Pooh” and “Deb” … and me so deeply madly passionately and overwhelmingly captivated by one person I “met” on January 10, 2009… I guess I need some energy and “real life” motivation for the autumn cleaning… please pray to the sweet mother of Lord Jesus Christ…

"... I Ain't Quitting..."

i just can't believe that i completely forgot that i have started this blog... and that too just in two days of starting it!!! ... the thing is that i have been out of touch from blogging for quite some time and besides ... the age... it catches up ... no matter where u are living!

so what i should be blogging tonight? ... let's c... it's nite eh? so no sunshine... [:P] and that brings smile to some and wink for others...

i was watching this movie yesterday night... "An Officer and a Gentleman" ... second time... and how it stuck me i dunno... but i got the movie luckily... and it was time well spent! ...what i liked in the movie? it was this conversation between Richard Gere and his Sergent while getting the 'punishment' for trying to be a smart arse... brilliantly portrayed ... and then of course the 'romantic' side of the movie... while i always liked the romantic drama movies apart from the usual 'kick-arse' so called 'action' movies... but for some reasons better known to Me and Sweet mother of Lord Jesus Christ... i am getting more liking for the 'softer' movies...

i am trying to stay clear of the drama... but in the hindsight i guess i am learning good lesson... somethings i should have done long time ago to make myself 'immune' to the circumstances... but hey! it's never too late in life... right? so while i am on a continuous learning path i hope to keep the curious people informed ...